Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
