you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
