The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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