Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
