He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
