Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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