Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
