the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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