She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
