There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
