i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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