porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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