I want you more than these girls want KFC
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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