Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
