in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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