Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
