I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love having hate sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize