Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
