who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
