I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
