Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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