i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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