I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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