And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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