when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I cockslap morals
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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