I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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