apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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