Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
