i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You're like the curious george of whores
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
