As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
