mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize