Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
