Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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