My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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