toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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