then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
