fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
