Dual....:-)
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
