I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
