Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
