So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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