We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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