You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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