its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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