before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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