I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
