I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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