Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
