Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
