I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
