Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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