she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
