if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
