Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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