Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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