Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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