I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
