I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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