That's intense
I've blown a few things in my day
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
