im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize