i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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