How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Still dying that you shit outside
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize