I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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